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 Chad Miller

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Rammie
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Number of posts : 247
Age : 46
Location : Tempe, AZ
Registration date : 2008-10-27

PostSubject: Chad Miller   Thu Jan 01, 2009 1:20 am

Wow... Where do I start with Chad? I first knew Chad as one of the guys who worked at our ASO here in Phoenix. He ran most of the gay mens groups, so I never really got to know him. A year later, 2003, Chad applied to become a member at Poz. In my e-mail to him to welcome him in, I told him I was one of the managers here.

Chad wrote me back to tell me that Isaac had saved his life. I wish I still had his e-mail somewhere. In a nutshell, back in 2002 Chad was really struggling with his life and the disease. I was meeting on Thursdays at Body Positive for a writing group and would leave Isaac upstairs in the kids room. Chad told me that he had finally made the decision to "end it". He punched out for what he had planned to be the last time at work and waited for the elevator. When the doors to the elevator opened on the 2nd floor, Isaac, with his walker out in front of him and his typical Isaac smile flew off the elevator at full speed just laughing the whole time (we were supposed to go to the 3rd floor and he was being ornary!). He nearly ran Chad over in the process, I apologized to him and he just smiled.

I took Isaac upstairs to the third floor and dropped him off with Barb. Chad followed, without my knowledge and spent the next hour playing with Isaac in the kids room. He begged Barb not to tell me for fear of how I would react to "the gay guy" spending time with my son... I told you he didnt know me very well!! For the next 2 months, every Thursday, Chad would skip his half hour lunch and work an extra half late just so he could spend and hour with Isaac, I still had no clue.

Here is a post Chad later wrote in poz in response to the impact Isaac had on him....

I wrote on 10/28/2003: Hey Chad... am so glad we got to see you this morning!!! When we got in the elevator Isaac got this real pensive look on his face and then he said... Heidi? and I said yes Isaac? He said Uncle Chad LOVES ME!!! I said he sure does Isaac... HE KNOWS CHAD!!!
BTW you looked better this morning are you feeling any better?

His response was this....

Girl you always do this to me.....i am crying like a baby! That little man is truely and angel. AND i DONT just mean he is a great little guy or something like that i believe that he is an ANGEL ....SENT FROM GOD ANGEL! I know this because it is just to weird that i knew you from BP and saw you there all the time and saw him there but never really talked or thought anything of it and then just by chance OR WAS IT...somehow i was lead to your sight not even knowing that it was yours. I believe that was fate and god lead me there. It was a hard time in my life and i was feeling that i had not much in my life to live for and was starting to think down a really bad path....and then for whatever reason i joined POZ to just have a place to chat and who knew it would lead to us talking and meeting and that little angel touching my life to show me that i did have something to live for. Because if he can go through life with a smile and so much joy then why couldnt i .....so i thank you so much for bring this real life angel into not only my life but the many many people that he touches. Sorry i dont mean to be a cry baby and so sappy but this is just much more powerful than just a little boy that i met and took a liking to.. it is far more than that. I really dont know where i would be right now if i had not made contact with you that day online and you brought Isaac into my life! That is why i broke down at the art show that night. Well i guess i have said more than i should have in the open room i should have said this in a private email to you...BUT i think this is something that people need to hear. It is a powerful message to all of us when we get down and think things are so bad....looking at Isaac just bring reality to me and i know that this little man has all these struggles at his young age and goes through life with joy and love and that smile! Girl you really do have an angel for a child!
Thank you for sharing him with me. And tell him YES uncle chad loves him!!!!!
Now that my eyes are red and swollen and i have basic made a blubering idiot of myself. I should end this. Just again Hiedi THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart!

LOVE YA and LOVE that little angel!
Chad
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Rammie
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Number of posts : 247
Age : 46
Location : Tempe, AZ
Registration date : 2008-10-27

PostSubject: Re: Chad Miller   Thu Jan 01, 2009 1:34 am

Isaac and I took field trips to Body Positive, taking lunch to uncle Chad. Isaac loved sitting in Chad's lap and eating his food. Chad said it was great because he would lose weight LOL. Chad was a pillar in my eyes. He was so strong. He never left anything to chance. He had such a giving spirit and amzingly generous heart, that I struggled when he was taken advantage of by other people. He would just calmly tell me to let it go. LOL...

Chad moved to Seatlle, Washington with his partner Shea in 2005. Chad was running an interior design business until he became to ill to work.

Chad passed away on February 1st 2007.

He wrote this message in poz... it is one I carry with me always!!

10/19/2006

Rammie....i miss you and my little man so much but i know God is watching over you and taking extra special care of my little angel....when it is my time to go i will be watching over him everyday of his life...which i know will be a long and fruitful one....he has alot to give this world and i am just glad that i had the good fortune to have him in my life....
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